After my father passed away all of a sudden I felt like I had found myself in an alternative timeline by running too fast like the Flash. The world felt completely different and surreal. It was all too much for me and my family. I experienced all kinds of things in the last 4 months. I do not want to go through something like this again unprepared and neither do I want someone else to go through something like this unprepared.
I have always avoided the Self-Help genre and been skeptical of these books. It just never worked for me because I was never in need of any such advice and I was never the right audience for these kind of books. I have found new appreciation for this genre after all that I had been through and a new kind of respect for these books. I still think most are garbage and generic. But there are a few that stand out as being very practical and ones that make you go “huh, that’s pretty doable, why didn’t I think of that”. I think that if a book makes you think that way, it’s pretty solid in its content. This is what Mark Manson’s “The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck” did to me. It broke many of my notions and made me rethink my approaches. Of course, its easier said than done. It doesn’t change life overnight the moment you finish the last chapter. You will have to work on it and let it simmer till its a habit.
This book has so many quotable paragraphs that I just stopped bothering about marking important ones. There are a few that really stand out but the entire book is worth reading once. Some of the advice might seem really harsh but truth is harsh and so is life. I think this book is for everyone, age, gender, race doesn’t matte because Disappointment Panda affects everyone anyway.
My favorite chapters would be the last 3. Especially the last one on Death. It was very relatable to me in light of whatever happened to us. I think i will read this book every year just to remind myself over and over again that these are the things I need to focus on continuously. It is not a feel good self help book. Its a practical, rude awakening for everyone who reads it. I highly recommend this book, especially the last 3-4 chapters.
Today, like many many other days i felt like not going to the gym. There was no valid reason for this feeling. It just happens. The whole day i would be looking forward to going, pumping myself up throughout the day and playing scenarios in my head about what i would be doing today and how i am going to have loads of fun. When the time comes near, i start reconsidering and start thinking twice.
Some of the thoughts that come in my head during this time are –
- “What if i skipped today?”
- “I’ll not go and make up for it later”
- “Just too tired”
- “i give up, i want the day to end now”
- “I dont have any energy or capacity to go tonight”
- “I am too bored to go”
My gym is right next door. I have to walk 20 steps to reach there. Despite that i play up these things in my head and skip many times. I dont know why i do it but i do. Today was just like those days. I took out my gym wear, packed up and then my thoughts went astray and i started unpacking, My mind fights my heart and ultimately the mind wins. I say the above things in my head to justify myself and feel better.
Today though, i did not let this happen. Even though i unpacked, i sat and took 2 minutes and took out my weighing scale and weighed myself. Not much difference in my weight from 2 days ago but it was a reminder as to WHY i need to go. The numbers on the scale pushed the block away from my head and i went.
Not only did i go to the gym but i ran the most i have on a treadmill in my entire life. I ran and i ran and pushed myself. I went from “I am not going to gym today” to “running the most i have ever in my life”. All it took was a grim reminder – the numbers on the weighing scale.
I don’t know if this struggle will ever go away. It happens everyday. But each time i push myself and go, is a day i conquered my mind. Terry Crews in a Reddit AMA gave some really good advice to overcome this lack of motivation and lack of interest and honestly, i have used this many times and it has worked. I don’t think i will ever come across anything so simple and effective –
This is a constant battle. I hope a day will come when i don’t have these thoughts in my head anymore. Till then Terry Crew’s advice and my weighing scale should be enough to push me to go.