Heavy on Nostalgia

Yesterday i was home alone for a fair bit of time and being alone, it usually leads to boredom and headaches which in turn always triggers memories of the past. I was remembering the 90s and childhood and everything related to it.

The first memory got triggered because i was listening to the X Files (Terrestrial Mix). It somehow reminded me of one image that’s burned in my memory like many others from my childhood. I don’t know the time or date. Its morning and during the monsoon season. I am home and eating a late breakfast maybe, i am in my living room, sitting where i usually sit and watching CNBC on the huge 32 inch Philips CTV we had in the corner. And my uncle had just arrived from our native. The reason i was watching CNBC is because the Tonight Show with Jay Leno was on. I used to watch that show for the first half hour and then skip the rest usually checking the end for more jokes. Funny bit is i used to understand the jokes. Especially the Headlines segment. No matter how much i tried week after week, i could never get the time or day right for when they used to air it. No such luck checking the papers too. But that day is somehow etched in my memory. I don’t know why or how. It just is. Its a random memory. But its there.

The second memory that got triggered is also a monsoon memory. I am in the building compound playing cricket and the image that is burned is me looking at my house. Maybe i am looking because mom is calling or maybe i am just looking up to the sky. I don’t know. And i am recalling the color blue with something. Just not able to associate it with something. Maybe an umbrella?

The third memory that i recalled was i had just returned home after playing in the rain. I remember i used to watch Tu Tu Main Main on TV. And i had missed it because i had got late. I remember mom making me take a bath and i was annoyed and i keep telling her ‘can’t you tell the cablewala to repeat it?’. I always smile at this because i did not know how TV worked back then and i am just throwing ideas to just watch my favorite show back then. I somehow forget it and remember watching something else with Satish Shah in it.

Its funny how all 3 memories i recalled have monsoon as a recurring element. Monsoon or Monsoon like weather always makes me nostalgic. I do not know what is it about monsoon that triggers so many memories of the past. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that the new school year used to start right about when the monsoon started. It’s such a big trigger for me. I go so deep in to nostalgia that i forget what i am doing and also lose the connection with the present. Its ‘depressingly uplifting’ if i may say so. Its depressing because of obvious reasons: Those days were golden and are not coming back.

It is uplifting because I realise where i have reached after all these years: The Present…only to look back again and again.

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